Friday, January 3, 2014

21DSD - Day 5 Week 1 Recap

It's been 5 days and we're doing really well! The cravings are not as bad as they were the first three days although they are still there. Funnily they are not so much for sugary things but for carby things like hamburgers and garlic bread. The hardest part so far is breakfast monotony. We have had eggs for breakfast every day this week. Every. Single. Day. Eggs. But it went from scrambled, to overeasy in a cup, to fried. Next week we'll try cooking them in the oven. We've had them with mushrooms, and avocado, and with salsa. We're trying to be creative but really breakfast is limited when there is no bread or sugar involved. We're going to go on a hunt for sugar free bacon this weekend to see if it really exists. Like a rare bird in the wild. We've hear rumors of where it might be found but have yet to actually come across it. When found breakfast will be exponentially better I believe.

Weight loss has been AMAZING and totally worth the morning monotony. Michael has lost 10 lbs this week and I have lost 8 lbs. Thats in 5 days people! Whoa right? And its funny because we're eating more meat than we ever have before and a little more vegetables but not that much more because we already consumed a fair amount before the 21DSD. So really it is just cutting out the sugar and carbs that has done it. Oh and the fact that we've been eating completely whole foods. Nothing packaged or processed this week at all. There really is something to this, we're going to keep on truckin and see how it pans out at the end of the 21 days.

I hope everyone is having a super happy new year and making healthy, kind, choices for yourself!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

21DSD Day 1 Recap

I'm going to just put it out there. Last night was hard. Michael and I were both whiny messes. We were HUNGRY. Like ravenous. Even after dinner. I used two chicken breasts all cut up and a big bag of frozen veggies and sauteed the whole thing up with two big  heaping spoons of minced garlic and a fair amount of coconut aminos for that soy sauce like taste. It tasted pretty darn good and I put mine on top of a bowl of spinach to fill it out even more. Well we pretty much plowed through that with the entire thing with the exception of the small amount I put aside for lunch today. But it just wasn't enough.

Almost as soon as we left the table Piper was asking for snacks and finally I broke down and gave her a bowl of oatmeal as she seemed really hungry still and she are the entire bowl of oatmeal with a banana and peanut butter. But Michael and I were still famished too and man that oatmeal looked and smelled so darn good.  We didn't eat the oatmeal. We stuck to our guns. But man it was really hard.

I couldn't just sit there and starve though so I dipped into the leftover steak from the night before. I probably had about 8 little steak bites. Then I tried to stave off the hungry but it got the best of me again and I went back for an apple with some almond butter (I checked. No sugar) and a couple small pieces of cheese. Finally I felt satiated enough to go to sleep but just barely.

Technically I cheated because I had both a banana and an apple the same day when you're only supposed to have one but you know, I think its okay.


Breakfast - 3 Eggs and 1 cup double bergamont tea
Snack - Banana
Lunch - 3 Cups (aprox.) spinach/spring mix salad with about 6 steak bite and 5 cherry tomatoes. I topped this with about 2 tablespoons of olive oil/basalmic vinegrette mix that I made up myself in the morning before work.
Snack - 6 Carrots
Dinner - Chicken and Veg. sautee. 8 steak bites. 1 apples, 1 tbsp almond butter, and approx. 2 oz cheese.

I didn't sleep that great but it was mostly because Piper was sticking her feet under my body when she came into bed. I think her feet are cold or something but she refuses to stay under the blankets. Crazy kid. I'm going to put her in footie pajamas tonight to see if it resolves that little issue.

I woke up feeling pretty okay this morning!

Monday, December 30, 2013

21 Day Sugar Detox - Day 1

So Michael and I have started the 21 Day Sugar Detox. I was just so tired of feeling so sick and tired.  In my mind the more sugary junk food I consumed the better I would feel, but in reality the more junk I ate the worse I felt. I began to realize that what I put into my body directly affects my emotional stability and my physical pain levels. I have been keeping track of my symptoms this last month and the amount of aches and pains and whines that I've had have directly correlated with the rising amount of junk food that consumed. The more candy, sugar, and fried foods I ate the more heightened my anxiety, the more my joints and muscles ached, and the more tired and sluggish I felt. Not cool.

The anxiety is the worst. And there were various cases in the last two months where it blew past anxiety into full blown paranoia. It's not a fun place to be. I'm pretty sure I damaged a relationship because of it but right now I can't concentrate on that. I need to concentrate on getting well.

Some of my other symptoms included:

Extreme Cravings for Sugary/Fried Foods
Diarrhea (TMI?)
Joint Pain
Foggy Memory
Mood Swings
Extreme PMS symptoms
Worsened Arthritis
Worsened Carpel Tunnel
Numb Fingers (more than likely due to holding stress in my neck/shoulders)

Sounds like a ball of fun right? You can see why I want to do something, ANYTHING, to help with this. I'll also add that because of the fatigue and depression I haven't been to an OA meeting in 7 weeks. So thats not helping matters. I've seen my will power go straight out the window. When the holidays started I weighed 189.3. That was on October 23rd, just before Halloween. This morning, at the start of my 21DSD I weigh 202.7. That means I gained 13 1/2 lbs over the last 2 months.

I need an overhaul. I need it now. 

Everywhere I look I see the answer being lower your sugar and carb intake. PCOS? Lower your sugar & carbs. Depression/Anxiety? Lower your sugar & carbs. Weight issues? Lower your sugar & carbs. So  you know what I'm going to try? Yep. I'm going to lower my sugar & carbs, dag nabbit!

The 21DSD is deceptively easy on the surface. Just avoid all and carbs (which turn to sugar in your system) and continue to do that for 21 days. That is the amount of time it takes to form a new habit and its a good amount of time for your system to detox from the absolutely disgusting amount sugar that you consume every day. And by you I mean me. The amount of sugar I ate in the months of October - December is grotesque. Ew.

The hard part is that there is sugar in EVERYTHING. Pretty much anything in a box or jar is out. Cereal, oh my beloved cereal.. yep O-U-T Out. Peanut Butter you're outta here. So it means we have to eat a lot cleaner. It's been a wake up call. The grocery store may or may not have had some extra bickering in it on Sunday as Michael realized all we were giving up for almost an entire month. He's so supportive for doing this with me though so I didn't really mind the extra whine. I felt the same way on the inside. But really I think its a really good thing that we're going to be eating less processed foods. We're going to come out of this on top, feeling better, looking better. Stronger together.

At least that is my hope!

So today is day one. It's about 3:30 and we didn't pack enough in our lunches so we're both a little hangry (hungry + angry = hangry) and I can't wait to go home and make dinner. But we didn't do too terribly. Scrambled eggs for breakfast, salad with left over steak bits and tomato for lunch, banana and carrot sticks were our snacks. Tonights dinner is going to be chicken stir fry with coconut aminos and veggies.  Should be delicious with how hungry we are!

I'll try to post as much as I can about how we're doing along the way through the next 21 days. The ups, the downs, the finish line :)

Anyone else getting a jump start on their health?

Friday, December 20, 2013

Goal Failure.. Maybe Next Year

My goal to make it though this holiday without a complete breakdown has failed. I spent most of last night in bed crying my eyes out trying not to wake up Piper. I'm sure I'll have more to say later but right now my nerves are raw and my feelings are extra sensitive.

Better luck next year.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Things I Want to Accomplish in 2014

Yes, I realize these New Year resolutions are supposed to come AFTER Christmas but I'm thinking about it now so I thought I'd share.

1) I want to be free of my ED's control over my life. I'm so tired of talking about it all the time.

2) I want to reach and maintain my goal weight.

3) I want to lean to preserve food and do canning.

(Minus the cat, of course. Allergies = blech)
4) I want to learn more about herbs and how to use them in my home and then implement that information.

5) I want to get rid of all my commercial cleaners finally and have a cleaner home overall.

6) I want to do more service work within the community and include Piper in that as best as possible.

7) I want to be more involved in OA (I have already made steps on this one).

8) I want to start an herb garden.

9) I want to do more spiritual centering.

10) I want to do more yoga.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Progress is Progress, No Matter How Small

I wish I knew where the original picture came from but I wasn't able to track it down. As seen on both Pinterest and Tumblr. 

Found! Check out ARThletic Girl on Tumblr for tons of super cute motivation art! (Thank you Mica for the find!)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Throwing Away Food - A Breakthrough

Throwing away food is, in my mind, wasteful.

Once a few years back an old friend told me 'It goes to the waste, or it goes to your waist'. And that is a profound thought to me. The idea that those are my two choices and to have them laid out like that just boggles my mind. When I say that to myself I don't think it really sets in. Like, isn't there a third option where I get to clean my plate even though I don't like it , or I'm full, or some other reason and it still doesn't pack on the pounds? Apparently not.

I will continue to eat something even though I don't like it. Its such a weird thing. But I'm working on changing that.

2 Examples:

Number 1:

Last week a supervisor brought in cookies. I was going to actively avoid them and do my best to not obsess all day about cookies being available and NOT eating them (another weird tick: needing to eat the food available to me whether I 'want' it or not). Anyways so I have go back to that part of the office for some other reason and I walk right past those damn cookies. I think to myself well it wont hurt to just see what kind he bought. Well damned. Of course they were my FAVORITE. Arn't they all my favorite? But in that moment I was cursing the supervisor for buying the oatmeal raisin cookies because why couldn't he have bought just any other kind? Really it had nothing to do with the type of cookie. I would have cursed him if he had brought in sugar cookies or chocolate chip or macadamia nut or peanut butter or whatever else kind you can think of. In that moment it would have been my favorite cookie and I would have been mad. So a co-workers comes up next to me and he says 'I saw your sign.' And you know what I say?

Fuck off.

I really said that.

How embarrassing. Its just mortifying. And it gets worse.

So I say 'Fuck off.', give him a dirty look, and TAKE A COOKIE. I bite into it and walk back to my desk but before I can get there, and as I chew that first bite I realize I DON'T WANT THE COOKIE. ABORT! ABORT!

And here is the breakthrough.

Before I sit down I toss the cookie in the trash.

At this point I'm not celebrating. I'm tasting the sugar in my mouth, I'm clammy with nerves and guilt for wasting perfectly good food. But I'm also a little relieved that I was able to do it. It feels like an awkward, wobbly, step in the right direction.

Number 2:

Yesterday we went to Starbucks. I really probably shouldn't have gone. I didn't have breakfast, although I had already had my one piece of my coworkers fudge that she only makes at Christmas although we jokingly hound her for all year long. We call it Mothers Fudge and its oh so good. She was sweet and was going to avoid me when passing it around but I couldn't resist. I'm hoping that by this time next year I'll be sugar free, but there is a point to this story that is actually good so I'll move on. So all I have in my system is an extremely  high amount of sugar and my bestie says she needs a Starbucks run. Well she seemed pretty grouchy so I thought I'd tag along just to make sure everything is okay but really underneath that I know I'm going to splurge.

Splurge is a stupid word. It sounds good and sweet and nice but really its just a nice way to say over indulge. Overdoing anything is BAD.

Anyways we get to Starbucks and I immediately order a protein plate and a blueberry muffin, and my normal Earl Grey Soy Latte. I start to feel the guilt hit me but I push it away. I don't really want the muffin but I can't wait to taste the muffin. It's a hard feeling to articulate, how you can want and not want something to feverishly at the same time.

Long story short we get back to the office and I start in on this muffin. And it's not good. What???? I mean its a Starbucks muffin so I expect it to me amazing and instead its kind of dry and just not flavorful at all. One bite, two bites, three. And then I realize I'm eating this thing just waiting for the rush, I'm waiting for it to taste good to me instead of eating it because it tastes good already. DUMB. So I pick it up and hold it over the trash can. I must look pretty ridiculous because I hold it there for a few moments contemplating eating the rest of it anyways. Because its there, because its a muffin, because I shouldn't waste food, because I want to eat. Instead I throw it away.

Because I want health. Because I want to live. Because I don't want to weigh 200 lbs.

This morning I got on the scale.

It wasn't pretty.

I still have 8 days to go for the holiday season but less than 1/2 lb before I hit 200 again. I can't keep eating like I have been. It was a wake up call.

Small victories + a wake up call = Me getting my ass moving in the RIGHT direction. No more moping around.